Preparing for a No Buy Year

Preparing Emotionally for a No Buy Year

The past few months have flown by and now the no buy year is only a month away. I realized that as prepared as I have been with data, rules, etc, I have not addressed how I feel emotionally about the no buy. If you are an emotional spender – like I am – it doesn’t make sense to leave this preparation out!

For whatever reason, it just didn’t occur to me until all of the black Friday/cyber Monday sales started. I started to feel some FOMO about the sales and deals. I really wanted to buy clothes, even though clothes are absolutely the last thing I need. I had a moment of feeling like, “I need to buy this now because I won’t be able to buy anything next year.”

STOP!! What the hell?

That line of thinking is completely counter to what I’m going for here. I don’t want to feel deprived but like someone getting ready to start a diet, I felt the urge to hurry up and do all the things I was going to “miss out on” before it was too late. I resisted all of the sales, except purchasing two items I already wanted from my Amazon wish list that were on sale: a seasonal affective disorder therapy lamp and a silk eye mask for sleeping.

Moving Through the Fear

All change comes with fear. The point is to not make yourself stop feeling afraid – there’s going to be some of that no matter what. The point is to push through the fear to the other side. With this no buy year, the fear is really that I will feel deprived. I will not be able to medicate my boredom with shopping or my low mood with buying. I know a lot of other millennials have this problem, shopping to feel at ease. When I’m anxious or tired or feel like life is a little lackluster, I can get a new sweater or home decor item as a pick-me-up. I can go to Target, get a Starbucks coffee, and put things into my cart until I feel happier.

This is, of course, not a good way to deal with feelings. I like to watch millennial content on Instagram and I am always amazed at how accurate the portrayals are. The stereotype is real. We really seem to be an anxious generation who are overwhelmed and looking for a little happiness. Even if I never buy anything, I don’t want this year to be me browsing websites and adding to cart. I want my attention to be on different things.

There Are Worse Things Than Feeling Deprived

As I prepare emotionally for the no buy year, one of the things I am realizing is that there are way worse things than feeling deprived. Not having savings; not being able to retire; not having the future that I envision; these are all worse than feeling deprived because I don’t have a magenta cardigan. I understand that we all need to be able to “check out” of reality sometimes. The world is an increasingly scary place and if you already feel anxious, it can be overwhelming. I don’t want to get lost in momentary happiness though. I hate the habit I’ve fallen into of lying on the couch, something playing on Hulu I’m half paying attention to, while scrolling through Instagram or shopping websites on my phone. I thought of some healthier ways to get a break from stress. These might not apply to everyone, you can think of your own if these don’t appeal to you!

Some Healthier Ways to “Escape”

• Read a book, put the phone across the room to avoid the temptation of picking it up.
• Spend time outside. Whether just in the back yard or hiking.
• Focus on one of the decluttering projects.
• Play a Switch game I already own.
• Have a phone-free conversation or meal with my husband.
• Play with the dogs.
• Listen to music. Dance if I feel like it.
• Practice the drums.
• Try some new/different tie dye folds.
• Volunteer.

A Change in Perspective

In my job, I say that reframing is my superpower. I am great at seeing things from a different angle and pointing out a silver lining to my clients. I do a decent job of this in my own life, although not always. The thing about feeling deprived is that it’s just a feeling. Feeling something doesn’t make it true. I have chosen to do this no buy year. No one has imposed it upon me. I could at any point go buy something. I also have a house full of things – which does not indicate any sort of deprivation.

If I feel like I’m missing out, that’s ok. There are worse things that feeling something “negative.” It’s also likely not accurate to the situation. I know that I can feel something, allow it to pass without hanging onto it, and move on. Even though this no buy year scares the crap out of me, I know that I can get through whatever it brings up for me. Not because I’m strong or especially great at sticking with things, but because I only have to take it one present moment at a time. That’s how we accomplish any daunting task. The only moment that is “real” is the one we are currently experiencing. I can handle the next feeling or the next moment when it arrives.